Thursday, 24 July 2014

tour eve

Tomorrow morning I leave for my very first tour. It's a mini-tour, just three nights, but I'm as excited as I would be going on a cross country tour for 3 months.

I've been bouncing around all day long in hyperactive fashion. My face hurts from smiling. But as soon as I sat down to relax panic set in. And then the flu symptoms (I don't have the flu - it's nerves) began. And now I feel like I'm dying. Literally. If I died right now I would not be surprised. I know I won't but that is how it feels. So bad.

This is what the stage fright used to feel like. It seems so old, so far away, but so familiar. I don't like it. I don't want to feel this way.

But it's proof that my theory is correct: I'll never get over it. I just have to find ways through it.

Next tour will be easier. Firsts of anything are always hardest. And I'm sure when the boys pick me up in the morning I'll be just fine.

Or I won't. But I'll find a way through it. Of this much I am certain.

Off we go!