Wednesday, 6 March 2013


Tuesday night was amazing.

It went by so fast; I don't really know how it went. I really have no idea how we sounded.  I couldn't hear myself, or anything else, at all.  But it felt great and was a ton of fun.  I'm so delighted that I was able to actually enjoy it.  Me 1, Fear 0.  Score!

We had the best turn out of anyone else on the bill - that felt really good.

And a woman (whom we don't know) took one of our posters and asked for my autograph!  That felt fantastic and bizarre and so damn cool.  I think I blushed and I never blush!

I'm ready to do it again.

Tuesday, 5 March 2013

and here they are

Ok, the nervousness just kicked in.  I woke up in a sweat with a racing heart.

Breathe, breathe, breathe.

My dear friend sent me this note and it helped so much:

"It's fine to be nervous, but your job in that nervousness is to find the stillness within you, and step forth from that stillness. That's what performing is. Yes, your external self should feel nervous, but your internal core, where your artist lives, should walk slowly forth with gravity and dignity, and stare at that audience and nod slowly, and then go forth. That's what I want for you today." 

Monday, 4 March 2013


Tomorrow I will be on a rock & roll bar stage for the first time in 20 years.  Yep, twenty.  Last time was at Buffalo's marvelous (and now extinct) Continental.  Last time I performed with a band was at my sister's wedding but that's a little different (and still something like 15 years ago).

Should be interesting.

And I'm still not nervous.  I'm starting to get a little nervous about not being nervous!  Though, so many are nervous for me maybe I don't have to be.  :-)

Friday, 1 March 2013


It's been everso quiet here because I cut the tip of my finger off five weeks ago and haven't been able to play my instruments.  It's mostly healed now and I will be posting new covers and originals again in no time.  I've been desperately anxious to get back at it.  While recuperating I spent lots of time plotting, planning and day dreaming about what comes next.  All will be revealed in time.

Aside from the finger injury, I've also been distracted by preparing for the JESMAQ and The Thump gig.  It's only 4 days away now and the reality of it has finally set in.  I've got some butterflies but am mostly just so excited about it.  So excited, in fact, that I'm not sleeping so well.  I lay there and think about what it will be like.  The cool thing is that instead of flipping out and vomiting I just get all excited and feel like running around the block.  When I do actually sleep, I wake myself up singing my harmony parts (Cuz we have some very cool harmonies worked out.  Very cool, indeed.  Will I remember that #9?  That flatted 5?  That tense dissonance with the flat 7 at the end of that song?  And what about that weird 11 we threw in over there?  Will I?  Huh?  Will I?  HA!).  I hope I remember them as well at the gig as I do in my sleep.  No matter what, it will be fine, but it sounds really effing cool when we get them just right.

As I mentioned before, there is safety in numbers.  I won't be alone up there.  I won't be the center of attention or the main focus.  That helps a lot.  Not only that but I'm working with such an incredibly talented group of people that I can't help but trust them.  That makes a big difference too.

The thought of performing solo still scares the hell out of me.  I've been doing visualizations about what my ideal solo gig would be like.  I imagine the between song banter, what I'm wearing, who's in the audience, where my lead guitar player would sit, which songs I'd do and when.  And as the visualization goes on my hands start to sweat.  And then my feet.  And then my heart is racing so hard I can feel it in my ears.  And I can't breathe and I feel like I'm going to pass out.  So then I start thinking about shoes or SeaMonkeys or China until I can breathe again.