performance

I performed my own material in front of a crowd of (mostly) strangers last night for the very first time. It was a good bye party for Jess. My heart hasn't stopped racing.

Overall, I think it went well. My guitar playing left much to be desired which is what happens when I'm so nervous. My hands just don't work. So my rhythm was sloppy and my dynamics were shit and I played way too fast. I was up half the night beating myself up for it. But the people loved my song (I played a new one called "Dear Henry" ). The response was...wow. I was a bit stunned when it was over, a little dazed, and a professional musician who is also an acquaintance (Sarah Burton - she's great) pulled me aside before I could say anything and said, "Did you hear the cheers and applause? Did you hear it? That was for you and your amazing song. And no one here is just being nice."

Another woman asked where she could buy my record. When I said I didn't have one yet she said "Hurry up, then! I need to buy that!" A bunch asked where they could come see me perform. One woman said, "I need more of you. I know that sounds weird because we don't know each other but I need more. I'm in love with your voice." When I thanked her she said, "It's weird having you thank me. You're too good to have to say thank you." There were so many nice things said. I wish I could remember all of them. I'm so grateful to everyone who took a moment to talk to me.

I'm not bragging. I'm making a record so I can read this again when I feel like I want to give up or when I feel too frightened to play in front of anyone. I'm typing this out in an attempt to make it real because it seems like a fuzzy dream now.